After a recent conversation with one of my girlfriends, I realized I needed to write a blog post about life timelines and comparisons. For context, we were both sitting on my bedroom floor talking about our lives and how we feel like people are essentially “passing us up.” My friend is currently 24 years old, attending the Royal Veterinary College in London, and to be honest, it’s hard not to compare yourself to someone like her, who in your eyes, is bloody killing it at life.
Just know that you are not alone feeling like you are not good enough or are not doing enough in comparison to others.
I have a terrible tendency to base success rate with age. Nothing entices me more than reading headlines about 20 year olds becoming millionaires or creating self-made conglomerates. These types of articles inspire me but then negatively reassure me that I am not as successful as these young adults. I think a lot of this stimulates from the fact I graduated high school at sixteen, but then felt like that was my ONLY age related achievement. It sounds so stupid writing it down, but it weighs me down so much.
As I am beginning to hit my mid twenties, I am starting to see more people getting married, buying homes, traveling the world, working for themselves … etc. Social media showcases people’s achievements, making it even harder not to compare your timeline to someone else’s.
Newsflash: Your age doesn’t determine if you can be successful, only you can.
“You have to find someone in college; otherwise you will never get married.”
“You have to get married by 25 and have kids by 27.”
“You need to have this much saved in your bank account to be happy.”
“You are getting too old to be living life the way you do.”
Screw that. Screw that 1000 times over and over. People have different timelines, and that is the beauty of life. Never feel like you have to live up to anyone’s timeline except your own.
If you start to compare where you are in life with someone else … take these steps:
1. Create goals that inspire you
The easiest way to realign yourself is to create goals and plans to achieve them. Most people are goal oriented, so even setting daily goals will help kickstart your biggest dreams. Make sure your goals are measurable and excite you.
If you feel like you are constantly comparing yourself to others, it could be a sign you have no achievable goals set at the moment, and you are “waiting” for something to happen. Don’t wait … if you want something bad enough, go for it.
2. Use your energy to focus on yourself
It sounds so simple, but channel your inner post breakup self and work on YOU! Don’t spend your time comparing yourself to others when you can be killing it in the gym or being a badass at work.
Remember, you have every tool you need to be successful. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you want to be.
3. Change who you are comparing yourself to
Compare yourself to you.
How can you be a better you? If you start comparing yourself to yourself everyday, you will begin to realize whether or not you are making progress in your overall life.
4. Remember that you’re not always seeing the whole picture
Social media makes it extremely easy to get caught up in the glamorous sides of our lives. As you know, everyone has good days and bad days. Not every travel blogger is happy each second of the day, and not every fashion blogger has their life figured out.
If there are no struggles or hardships in our lives, it would be so boring.
5. Someone else’s success ISN’T YOUR FAILURE
Everyone runs on different timelines. EVERYONE. If your time hasn’t come yet, don’t worry, it will when the universe wants it to. Be happy for those that are crushing their goals and dreams.
I’m leaving you with these rare photos of my high school friends. No matter which path of life we are on, the road always leads us back to each other. For this, I’m very grateful. Here’s to holding on to friends who support your dreams as strongly as you hold on to the dreams themselves.
Until next time, Spread Kindness.