Hi Loves,

Why is everyone settling right now?  People are settling in relationships, aspirations, work, and even their outfit choices.  Girl — just because everyone else around you is wearing booties, a crop top, and jeans, that does not mean you have to wear that, especially if it isn’t your personal style.  Wear those white cowboy boots and OWN IT.

“When you set high standards, you immediately raise your expectations of what’s possible.  You suddenly expect more from yourself, more from your actions, and more from others.” – Adam Sicinkski

Recently I was told, “Hayden you dream too big.  Why don’t you just dream about things that you can attain right now?”

I’m sorry but what … ?

This may sound like a cliche, but it’s about as real as it gets.  I dream big because I don’t want to settle on what’s easy and convenient. I dream big because what do I honestly have to lose?  If I was able to come up with that goal for myself, then it should be something that I work towards trying to obtain.  Most people do not dream about things that are impossible to ever achieve.  Dreaming big enables you to really visualize your goals and motivates you to achieve them.  Great things do not happen overnight nor are they easy.  Don’t cut your dream short just because it will take time and seems too far for you to reach.

A huge part of who I am is that I’m extremely goal-oriented.  If I want to go to Ireland every single year because I love it that much, I’m going to make it happen someway somehow.  I’ll make a list of my dreams and then plan out action lists of what steps I am going to take to get there.  Not settling is all about making YOUR* (yes, you!) own goals and going for what you want out of life.  Live a life that you want to live, not someone else’s.

Even though I’m writing a post about not settling, I’m going to be honest and say that I am still practicing this art.  Because truly not settling is something you have to train yourself for.  Different opinions from loved ones, friends, and coworkers can really impact the way you think and perceive yourself.  I am not a person who stands up for herself very often.  I actually hate confrontation, but recently I have been in a lot of situations where I knew that I was going to have to stand up for myself in order to not settle for something I didn’t want.  I don’t want to put my self-needs on the back burner.  I have a voice that I am fully capable of using to achieve what I want.

The same thing goes for relationships.  If you feel that something isn’t right and you are getting those mean, nasty, make you sick to your stomach butterflies, GET OUT.  Life goes by too fast and your time is precious.  Don’t waste it by settling on someone that isn’t right for you, especially when you know it.

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.” — Mandy Hale

I once dated a real gem of a guy in high school.  Our almost year long relationship consisted of fights and constantly being lied to.  It was scary.  It was terrible, and I knew that things were not okay in the slightest.  Looking back on it now, I settled for a long time on someone who was not right for me and TBH he did the exact same.  That was an entire year that could have been spent in happiness instead of stressed out and in tears.  If I could tell the girl in college not to settle on the guy that is giving her red flags left and right, I would tell her I was in the same position and she’s worth more than that frat guy.

By the way, I know that when you hit your twenties or geez even your thirties, there is a LOT of pressure of being in a relationship.  People have this tendency to build timelines on when everything is supposed to happen for you.  They are not in charge of your life — YOU ARE.  Most people tend to think that in college you’re supposed to meet a guy, then right after you graduate BOOM you get engaged, then comes marriage and the rest is history.  Umm no … this may be the case for some people, but everyone has their OWN timeline for life.  Things happen for a reason at the time they are supposed to.  When you start to conform into those beliefs, that is when you start to settle for less. Stop letting other’s beliefs control you, don’t compare yourself to others, and remind yourself whose’s life this is. You are WORTH achieving what you desire!


Love y’all.  See you next Wednesday.  I hope the post added some value to your life.


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